I often try to write articles that covers all facets of male and female romantic dynamics. The first date is the most important step in learning more about the woman you like, and it can either make or break your chances with her. You see, you’re not to blame. The dating community is crammed full of conventional wisdom, which I’ve personally found, is oftentimes wrong. So, let’s talk about some common mistakes that a lot of men commit when thinking of what to do on a first date.
1. Movie Date
I’m a huge fan of movies, and I’ve broken this rule a lot of times to remember, but only when there was a flick that I truly wanted to watch. The big problem of taking your date on a movie is that you two can’t talk with her. A lot of women also agree that the movie on the first date is not a very good idea.
I prefer museums, but I don’t…
2. Pretentious ‘Culture’
… take women to museums to make a good impression on them. I would never take my date to the opera or ballet or a wine-tasting event unless I truly wanted to go there. Being pretentious and overly cultured will only kill your chances because it only sabotages a woman’s respect for you.
3. Fancy dinner
This is a total disaster. Not only you wind up emptying out your wallet just to feed another person you hardly even know, but it’s absolutely not required and you’ll only kill your chances of getting ‘sexual’ with her later. I’ve personally discovered that the more I spend money on a woman, the less likely I am going to sleep with her.
Now, I haven’t kept personal records of this, but I’ve certainly noticed a trend of this happening. I think the biggest reason for that is it kills any attraction she may have felt for a guy when he tries too hard to win her (i.e. by lavishing money on her), and it immediately places the guy in the ‘boyfriend/provider’ category. As soon as a guy is placed in this dreaded category, a woman will more likely withhold sex to gain more attention and favours from him.
4. Extreme outdoors events
A lot of guys I coach are the outdoorsy type. As motivated and successful men, they often like to do outdoor activities like mountain biking, hiking, and rock-climbing, etc. Nothing’s wrong having these exciting hobbies to share with women, but certainly not on the first date. Why? Simply because it can be too physically demanding for her. She can become exhausted, sweaty, and discouraged easily. But if she’s an outdoorsy kind of girl, then, by all means, go rock-climbing with her. But even then, make sure it is a light climbing so that you can talk with each other rather than sweating and pounding the whole time.
Also, do not take her anywhere too private. You want to make your date feel safe and relaxed, not anxious about you trying to rape her in the middle of the jungle (I know this sounds really weird, but this is a big issue a lot of women have).
5. Doing something that’s completely unrelated to your life
Think about a few activities related to your life. That means not taking her to some random place on the different part of the city. Rather, taking her to a local restaurant that you know has good food, and is easy to locate. Don’t take to an art exhibition that you absolutely have no intention of going in. Rather, go and play your favourite sports game (my favourite if pool) at a local bar. By all means, be real, and don’t try to impress her. Get to know her well, share fun and relaxed experience.
P.S. Here’s another related article on the subject: First date tips for guys