Question from Justin:
I’m halfway through your MACK Persuasion Mastery Program. Awesome stuff. I got a question for you. Maybe you cover it in a later chapter, but I need to find the answer out right now because this situation is driving me crazy…
Last week I met a girl at a party, had a cool conversation with her, and invited her to accompany me to a concert which was happening a few nights later. She enthusiastically agreed.
Then, the day of the concert, she called me and told me she couldn’t make it. (Something about her best friend having some problem she needed to deal with.)
Normally, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she really did get busy at the last minute.
But this has happened to me numerous times: I ask the girl out, she agrees, and then she calls me the day of the date with some flimsy-sounding excuse.
What’s this all about, and how can I stop this from happening?
If you ask girls out on dates on a regular basis, chances are they usually say “yes.”
However, you’ve probably also found that a lot of these dates never actually pan out.
For some reason or another, on the day of the date, you get “the phone call.” You know, the one where she tells you some lame-sounding reason why she can’t make it, and she apologizes, and you both agree to reschedule for “some other time.”
This is a part of the mating ritual. When a man proposes a first date, he is almost NEVER turned down on the spot.
Instead, the prescribed social norm is for the woman to “accept” his offer, even if she really has no interest in seeing him again.
Then, she’ll wait until the day of the date, call the man between five hours and 15 minutes prior to the appointed time, and cancel.
A woman will never tell you, “I thought it over, and I’m really not into you, so let’s not waste our time…”
Instead, she’ll give you one of the classic excuses:
“You’ll never guess who just stopped by.”
(Incredibly, a half-hour before the date, women will tell you their sister, best friend, or some long-lost acquaintance dropped in on them unexpectedly.)
She might tell you she has a “huge day” at work tomorrow, and needs to be rested, or concoct a more elaborate story about her car breaking down, her cat getting sick, etc.
The end result is the same. You’re disappointed, wondering what the hell you did wrong, and you never see her again.
The way to counter this is to make sure she never “disqualifies” you in the first place. She should be looking forward to this date MORE than you are.
This means you’ve got to build a deep connection with her during that initial conversation and make her feel INVESTED in the connection so that she wants to see it pay off.
Put it this way: she should feel like this first date might be the LAST first date she’ll ever go on… because you could be the guy she’s been searching for!
So how do you make women feel this sense of “investment?”
First, the more personal/intimate information she shares with you about herself, the more “invested” she will feel in the relationship.
One way to accomplish this is to help her to VISUALIZE her future, and support that vision.
When she mentions what she does for a living, ask her if she finds it fulfilling.
- Is it a field she’s always been interested in, or is it just a temporary way to pay the bills?
- Where does she see herself in five years?
- Is there a goal she’s working towards, or a business idea she’d love to get off the ground?
- If she could do anything for a living, and she had the money to pursue it, how would she spend her time?
(You can learn more about this “sneaky” manoeuvre here):
Next, voice YOUR appreciation and support for that goal/idea. Tell her how you’re passionate and motivated about a goal of yours, and the success you envision for yourself five years from now.
Give her the sense that you believe in her, that you’re a loyal, supportive ally, and she’s going to feel invested.
Who wouldn’t want a person like that in their life, and by their side?
Also, USE QUALIFYING QUESTIONS AND STATEMENTS.
(This is huge.)
With the typical guy-girl conversation, it’s the guy who is trying to impress the girl and convince her of HIS worthiness.
He is investing HIS sense of self-worth in HER.
The Mack turns the tables. Think Push/Pull.
Project the sense that you have high standards, and that the majority of women DON’T meet your standards. If she’s going to deserve your time and attention, she’s going to have to demonstrate her worth.
You’re NOT the average chump, who’s willing to buy drinks for any girl who is willing to talk to him.
Here are a few examples of Qualifying Questions and Statements:
“I was hanging out with my friend John today, he just got back from a business trip to Europe and he had an amazing time. He says London is his new favourite city. What’s yours?”
If she admits she hasn’t done much travelling, imply that she’s not quite up to your standards: “That’s surprising, you struck me as being sophisticated because you’ve got a nice sense of style. I think travelling, and seeing the world, is so important.”
If she HAS travelled a lot, make her feel like she’s earned a little bit of your respect. Then follow with another
“That’s good to know, there’s no way I could date a woman who’ve never travelled. I find they have a really limited perspective, and that gets boring in a hurry. I hope YOU aren’t boring…”
Here, you’ve given her ego a little boost. She feels like she has “scored points” with you.
Continue the process of Qualifying her, and she’s going to want to score more. You’re in the driver’s seat.
Or, you could say…
“Wow, so you’ve never been to _ (name a hot bar or nightclub in your town)? I don’t know if this is going to work out between you and me, I’m a guy who likes to go out to all the new spots.”
(Remember, always say these Qualifiers in a PLAYFUL tone.
Never sound harsh.) <– VERY important.
Another Qualifying Statement: “So, tell me something about yourself that I would find interesting.”
You can also throw “teases” into the mix to imply that you’re not easily impressed:
(After she says something funny): “You’re hilarious. Can I hire you for my next party?”
Or, “It’s cute how you wrinkle your nose when you laugh.”
(That was another little jab … you’re implying that you don’t find her sexually attractive, only “cute.”)
Or, “You seem like a really nice person, Sarah. I bet all your friends say that about you.”
(This is a great one to use at a bar. You’re complimenting her by telling her she’s nice, but at the same time, you’re implying that she’s not sexually attractive. Hey, no girl gets dressed up for a night out, hoping that guys will notice how “nice” she is…)
This article’s getting a tad bit too long, but these are a few basic pointers you should know — if you’re ready to learn the COMPLETE system that is GUARANTEED to MESMERIZE and persuade ANY woman to DO whatever you WANT them to do
Suck it all up, and once you’re finished, you’ll no longer worry about women cancelling dates on you. In fact, a BIG chunk of guys who have finished the program have told me they are starting to run into a “different” set of challenge altogether: that the girls DO show up for the first date, but their “standards” have gotten so high, their “options” are so limitless… that on certain occasions, THEY’RE the ones cancelling it!
P.S. Here are more related articles on the subject: