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How to keep her interested in you
Can you count how many amazing girls did you lose so far in the past 6 months? How many times did you go out on your first date almost sure that you may have met the “One”… only to never have heard from her again?
If you have been to similar situations like that, I can understand your pain. For a number of years, I was racking my brains out not knowing why I was SO good at attracting girls but really bad at keeping them interested in me long enough to make them my girlfriends.
At that time, I thought I lacked game. I thought maybe I need to calibrate my dating/seduction skills, so off I ran to read another dating eBook or watch another free YouTube video.
Makes sense. After all, all these resources helped me get the girls in the first place, so I thought they probably have the secrets to keep them interested in me, too. But, after losing over half of dozen great girls in a span of 2 years, I finally discovered that advice I was following to the “T” was actually totally WRONG.
It may read counter-intuitive, but much of the tactics and mindsets that work to get a girl attracted to you are exactly the ones that will repel her away later on. So, while the shameless playboy lifestyle may seem attractive at first, but if you are serious about keeping great girls into your life, then you might want to tone down your “game” a little bit and start having a real connection.
In today’s post, you’ll find some tips and mindsets that’ll work to attract girls to your life, but if you continue doing it, will certainly turn her off down the road.
Don’t show your emotions
I know, guys who are so great at attracting hordes of amazing girls at the speed of light are guys who almost never react emotionally to other people. Now, I have spent countless hours with hot chicks who threw tons of garbage at me, but, by being cool, calm, and collected about it all and not reactive to her shit tests, I almost went back home with every one of them. The less emotion I displayed, the more girls began to chase me.
But this mindset however destroyed my long term success with girls. While it’s true that women want an emotionally stable man, but they also want a man who cares about them and who connects with them, emotionally.
While it might work playing the Mr Non-Reactive at first, eventually she wants to know for certain she means at least something to you. So, if you’ve been seeing a girl for a very long time, then understand that it’s completely fine to SHOW your emotion.
Now, I know, a lot of guys will say, “Well, that’s cheesy,” letting the girl control the frame. But, I can tell you by my past experiences with women, sometimes a girl wants to hear you say something they did anger you, hurt you or at least affected you emotionally. Sometimes, she’ll just put up an act just to test how much you really care about them. For a very long time, I would just laugh off everything, pretending as if nothing affected me (while deep down inside, it did). Now, however, I make sure to be emotionally genuine and transparent as I possibly can.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that you should get all emotional with a chick when you’re kissing her at the bar. What I am saying is that it’s completely fine to allow yourself to have that “emotional space” just to let a girl know she affects you.
Yes, you do have feelings and you are not a robot. So, stop hiding it from girls whom you really care about.
Attraction is not a choice
Attraction is not a choice is true when you are interacting with a girl and she’s in front of you. But, as soon as you leave the interaction, attraction slowly drops back to “zero” and she’ll have a choice. If the whole time you focused on nothing else but build attract, then that choice will easier for her (and that it’s going to be she doesn’t want to see you again).
So while it’s a good idea to focus your energy and time attracting girls at first, but eventually, you must also lead the conversation towards “real talk.”
Last weekend, I was interacting with a young hot brunette, but she would not stop doing that female version of “cocky/funny” version on me. Whenever I asked her a question, she’d just respond telling me she worked at an illegal immigrant, worked for the circus, etc. While it was light and fun at first, eventually I gave her a final warning: either be real or leave. She looked stunned, but eventually, she began opening up to me. What she remembers about that encounter is not the “cocky/funny routine” we had, but the “real connection” we made.
While being cocky and funny is a good idea (and I highly recommend that you put that element into your interactions with girls), but my advice to you is… do not overdo it. With women, your attraction starts to wane as soon as you walk away from her. A date isn’t awesome just because she finds you all hot and exciting when you’re in front of her. Be real and give her a real reason to see you again, because attraction lasts only as long as the distance between the two of you.
The Right Mindset To Keep A Girl
The Abundance Mentality
Attracting women putting up a player persona isn’t that attractive. Acting like you are pre-selected doesn’t make you attractive to the ladies. Instead, it makes you seem “insecure”.
If you’ve watched guys who are really good with women, they’re not dancing around with hot chicks hanging off their arm. They’re simply shameless about it. Guys who are extremely good seducing women may make-out a bunch of girls at a bar, they aren’t doing it just to raise their value. They do it because they’re shameless playboys.
While it is completely fine to assume that all girls like you, but you must turn that attitude off as soon as you are interacting with them. Nothing turns a woman off than dealing with a delusional guy. No woman wants to be with a delusional dude who believes every woman has to slip her panties for him. Put out that “all girls want me” act because it is simply not an attractive way to interact with people.
Always be closing
Giving a newbie guy advice that he needs to get every girl’s number, make out with every girl he meets, or pull every chick he talk to might help him get out of his comfort zone, but once he knows to do all these things, then there’s no reason to feel a compulsion to “close” every girl he talks to.
Now, unless you are super insecure and desperately horny, why would you want to possess all the girl in the world? This was a big revelation for me, as I finally recognized how I was brainwashed by my own surroundings. For a long while, I judge the success of every date I went out, every night I went out, and every number I took by the “close the deal” mentality. If a girl was near me, I had to close her.
Ultimately, that kind of thinking just become destructive as I became heavily outcome dependent. I could never truly enjoy a female’s company or “let my guard down.” It was simply going for the close, close, and close… and nothing else. Having this kind of mindset not only suppresses your real self with women, but it also suppresses your overall happiness.
Here’s the cold fact truth: no one can close every girl he meets. And even if you could, it would not make you any happier. In fact, it’d take the unpredictability, excitement, and fun out of dating. As soon as you let go of your delusional, you’ll finally realize that dating is more than just a close. I’d rather spend time finding out the truth of whether or not me and the girl I am on a date with are truly compatible or not, instead of closing every single girl I meet.
In summary, I am not saying I completely disapprove these mindsets or telling that they aren’t helpful. But, I’ve discovered that they can be destructive in keeping girls interested in you in the long run.
No matter the method, system, or mentality, everyone puts on a mask when trying to seduce and attract women. It’s just human nature to appear attractive and cool to others. Things I would share with my girlfriend of 6 months are not things I would share with a girl I just randomly met at a mall.
However, eventually the act ends and people want to get real. While I’ve understood that you must not drop all your attractive traits, the mindsets listed above in this article must be softened up if you truly want to keep a girl REALLY interested in you.