How to Spark the Right Kind of “Vibe” with a Woman
Having a fun, playful, and flirtatious conversation with a girl is the number one step towards getting the kind of results you want with her. Why is it that having a fun and enjoyable conversation so easy for some guys and so arduous for you?
You know what I am talking about here. You know, some guys effortlessly seem to make any girl laugh out loud and pay all attention to him without much effort.
Now I have been there a lot of times before. Sometimes I even thought other guys possessed some kind of secret Jedi-level tricks for getting any girl to open up for them and enjoy a conversation, and I was completely dumbfounded about what the “trick” was.
Back in college, I spent almost a month trying to flirt with a gorgeous hot brunette who was a waiter at a lunch place. I’d do everything, leave her big tips, always ask how her day was, smile every time she came to the table. It took me almost 3 weeks just to know her name, Jane. And when she repeated my name after about a month, I took that as a sign that I should get her number. After two more lunches together, I still had not asked her out. Then one day this guy walked in and sat right next in the table behind me.
He had Jane cracking out loud while she took his order. He was shamelessly flirting with her when she brought him his food. Now, I thought she’d just not pay any attention to him, but she didn’t. In fact, after she has served all the tables, she just went right back and actually sat right next to him in the booth. By the time I was finished eating, this guy already had a plan to pick her up after her work. He even asked her to plant a kiss on the cheek before he left. And, to my horror, she gave it to him, too.
Of course, my confidence fell into pieces and I felt like I was a piece of crap after the lunch that day. But only after a couple of days, I recalled back to what I heard that guy tell Jane. I completely decoded it. And I tried to repeat his “strategy” over the next year at college.
Now I don’t find myself caught up in dreaded situations as I did with Jane anymore. That is because I learned 3 key components that every conversation with every woman in every situation must have.
These are the same 3 key components that make it so effortless for that dude at the lunch place to date Jane.
Well, here they are:
You must be curious about her beyond her beauty. Now, being curious is not about interviewing her, but finding answers to important questions such as:
- What thing turns her on?
- What things are important to her?
- What things does she find funny?
- How would she react to the thought of me and her getting physical together?
- How does she react when I flirt with her?
I could make a long list of questions like these. But you must understand that the questions you ask her to learn interesting things about her are not even that important. What’s more important is being genuinely curious about her and then embracing it. If you go about having a conversation with this sense of true curiosity, I promise you’ll never find yourself at a loss for things to say or ask her. In fact, the questions you ask her will be fun, playful, and flirty, and even more importantly, honest.
The word impudence means being cheeky, bold, or irreverent. Now, I am not asking you to be impudent, but just only slightly. This is easily overdone if you’re not careful. But if done right, then I can assure you she’ll be having fun, she’ll view you as someone who is different than other dudes, and she’ll start to flirt with you.
What impudence does is takes her out of the state of mind she often enters in when she talks to other guys because it amazes her.
Here’s a good example: I was having a small talk with a girl at a bar one time, and she was wearing glasses (she was still hot, though). I asked her whether she kept her glasses on or kept them off during sex. “I know, you need to wear them to see what you are doing, but they might get broken or knocked off if you get to… excited. So what do you do with your glasses? I’m curious to know.”
Just see what I meant by being impudence… irreverent and a bit surprising, but it is also kind of non-threatening and humorous.
Another way to set yourself as a cheeky guy is to make an overstatement when she asks you a question or make an obvious lie. Then, after you make it, you take a pause and go back and give her a real answer.
In just a few seconds I’m going to tell you how to not get impudence wrong (because if you do you can completely ruin your chances with her.)
But let me talk about…
Fun is the medium of great conversations. If a girl sees you having fun, then naturally she’s going to be more open to you and open to what you are saying or doing. Even more importantly, if she is having fun, she won’t even be thinking logically, because then she’ll be thinking emotionally. She won’t be thinking “wait a minute, is this guy right for me?” or “let me see his faults.” Instead, she’ll be thinking “wow, this feels incredibly fun, and this certainly feels amazing, I just need to go with the flow.”
Now, there are a number of ways to bring that fun element into the conversation. One of the easiest ways to do that is to start making fun of yourself. Tell her that you like cheesy pop music from the 80s or you’ve seen every episode of the Popeye the Sailor Man at least ten times. What this does is keeps the mood light, fun, and flirty AND it also immediately breaks her out of the expectations that she normally has for guys in general: that most guys often will try to sell them or brag about themselves just to impress her.
Making these funny confessions should not be shameful… they’ll, in fact, make you come across as more attractive in her eyes.
Another thing I absolutely love doing is give her a fake palm reading. It just spikes up the level of fun you both are having, giving you even more opportunities for having more playful humour, AND it also gives you a wonderful opportunity for some innocent hand-to-hand contact.
Putting it all together
So now that you have figured out these 3 key components that can truly improve your conversation with women and prevent you from ever feeling you are out of your wits. What you must do next is to learn how to apply these 3 important secrets to work for you in real life situations.