I used to think that appearing “cool” was enough to get a woman interested.
I thought that if I wore the right clothes, hung out with the right crowd, and pretended hard enough “not to be interested” in her… She would magically become interested in me.
And here is the kicker…
It WORKED. She usually became interested.
Yes, I could tell that my “act” opened up a window of opportunity for me to make my move.
But that window ALWAYS closed very quickly.
And I rarely got the girl…
I think a lot of you unconsciously fall into this same trap.
You believe that you can “trick” a woman into falling for you.
But you can’t.
You CAN trick her into becoming interesting in you… but if you can’t back up that “cool guy” persona with the ability to talk to her in a way that attracts and excites her…
You will ALWAYS lose out to the guy who can.
I experienced this firsthand many times…
I can remember one time in particular. I was at one of my friend’s girlfriend’s sorority house. She was throwing a small party. I looked around and felt good… because by my estimation I was the “coolest” guy there.
So I did what I did best back then… I acted like the “cool, mysterious guy” who was a little too preoccupied with himself to bother overly socializing with the girls at the party.
And sure enough… I was standing in the corner talking to one of my friends… and this short, punkish, but the incredibly cute girl comes walking right up to me, sort of stands on her tippy toes, and leans in and kisses me on the lips. She then proceeds to tell me how she was watching me from across the room and she thought I was adorable.
My friend casually slips away, giving me the big thumbs up. But the minute I was alone in the corner with her… my mind went blank. It was like a struggle to get even the most ordinary conversation to come out of my mouth.
She asked me a few questions… and I sort of mumbled and grunted my answers… trying to quickly gather up something that would capture her interest…
Finally, I blurt out my clever line: “So what’s your major?”…
The girl had just walked over, completely unprovoked, and kissed me on the lips, tells me I’m adorable… and the only thing I can think to say is “what’s your major?”
Well, after a few more minutes of small talk mixed with uncomfortable pauses, and me ‘stuck in my head’, sipping my beer religiously, trying to divert the attention away from the fact that I was desperately searching for what to say next…
She tells me she has to use the bathroom.
She didn’t come back.
I don’t think I have to explain to you how painful it is to lose a girl who is practically throwing herself at you…
But this was my reality for a very long time.
What I learned the hard way was that you can have alpha body language, a cutting edge sense of fashion, an army of social proof…
But if you can’t talk…
You ALWAYS lose to the guy who can…
So how do you overcome this?
BE THE GUY THAT CAN TALK…
A “Secret” Women Don’t Talk About
Here is a secret that is not often talked about…
Women are rooting for you.
Yes, they want you to succeed.
They want you to hook them into a great conversation. They want to feel an intense connection. They want “butterflies.” They want to be seduced. And yes, they want to have sex.
They are willing to cut you A LOT of slack.
A lot of the information out there tries to make picking up chicks seem like this “mystical” thing with layers and layers of information you need to know…
But the truth is…
You don’t have to be SPECTACULAR…
You just have to be good enough.
You’ve probably sat and watched as a guy picked up a beautiful woman and thought “He didn’t say anything that great…”
The bar is NOT that high.
You just have to be slightly better than the guys around you.
And you win.
Make Your Conversations “Pop”
Years after that “incident” in the sorority house I spoke about earlier… where I watched a girl who has just kissed me unprovoked… walk away…
I finally got “it.”
The conversation has to be fun and sexy.
That has ALWAYS been it.
Fun and sexy.
It was like flicking a light switch and filling a dark room with light. All of a sudden everything became crystal clear. And I felt a sense of excitement about going out to talk to women that I never experienced before.
The best way I can describe it was sort of like the feeling you get when your adrenaline is pumping from a shot of caffeine or the surge of relaxed confidence a good beer buzz usually provides…
It’s like you begin to see the world as completely limitless. ANYTHING is possible. Almost like you’re escaping from this imaginary shell that has enclosed you all of your life…
FUN and SEXY.
- You keep her entirely “in the moment.”
- You turn your conversation with her into a “fun” game.
- You don’t hide the fact that you’re a sexual being.
- You accept the fact that she is a sexual being.
- You keep the “spotlight of the conversation” on the two of you.
- And you keep ESCALATING.
If I had to name the biggest reason most guys “blow it” is because they don’t keep escalating their conversation to the next level…
If a conversation hits a plateau for too long… the tension is released and she gets bored.
Many guys hit this “plateau” get frustrated, and give up.
So how do you overcome this “plateau?”
You are ALWAYS escalating the conversation.
P.S. If you’re struggling to keep a conversation moving forward then you need to try out my friend Bobby Rio’s new program Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy
You are going to find that if you can simply make your conversations more fun and sexy… and keep them escalating forward… you’ll be able to draw out a side of the woman that she is dying to let loose…
Remember, she is rooting for you.
It’s your job to not mess it up.
Go now and discover how to create the kind of conversations that women tell their friends about weeks later…