My friend Eric Von Sydow has hooked up with more drop-dead-gorgeous women than just about any man I know.
I got some AWESOME feedback about the last guest-article he wrote for me, and I asked him if he’d write one more.
And he happily whipped up this great article for you about “how to automatically attract the women of your dreams”.
The Great “Confidence” Problem
A. What Is It Like To Have Low Confidence?
Women can easily pick up on a guy with low confidence.
For example: a woman notices when a man hasn’t taken time to consider his choice of clothes, and when he has poor personal hygiene.
A low confidence guy looks worn down and doesn’t have that air of “cool” about him.
Low confidence guys don’t have that sense of pride that confident guys have; they lose touch with caring about their general appearance and demeanor.
A guy lacking confidence will try and hide his low self-esteem, to shy away and go unnoticed, but in doing so he is drawing attention to himself.
His awkwardness gives him away and is easily spotted by women.
He will walk with his head down and rarely make eye contact.
He will not initiate conversation, and will probably try to avoid it at all costs.
Without realizing it, he shows the world how unconfident he is, and unbeknown to him this becomes his identity.
B. What Is A Guy With Low Confidence So Afraid Of?
But why does he act this way?
Well, because he is afraid of looking foolish or letting himself down in front of other people.
He wants to shrink himself down in size so that he is as small as a mouse and can walk in the shadows.
He wants to hide away from people.
He doesn’t want to be seen or heard, for fear of being judged and criticized.
He is afraid of being made fun of, not knowing what to say in a challenging situation, and not meeting the expectations of others.
He is afraid to embrace his true self.
And so he feels small and acts small, afraid to stand tall as a man.
C. Looking Foolish — The Ego’s Pain
When a guy looks foolish, his actions validate the fact that he is lacking something in his social compass.
Sure, we all act the fool sometimes, but the difference is that someone with low confidence is unable to laugh it off or make a quick adjustment to show others that they’re just playing around, or having a “moment”, so to speak.
Instead, the low confidence guy will concentrate on his faults and continually remind himself of his mistakes and flaws.
He will chastise himself and mentally punish himself until he withdraws further from social interaction.
He enters an ongoing, self-inflicted downward spiral.
In a nutshell: a man with low confidence is his own worst enemy.
D. What Causes Low Confidence?
There are many causes of low confidence.
It can be linked to how you were brought up.
If your parents constantly belittled you, then because you were unable to stand up for yourself at a young age, you are likely to struggle with self-worth and have low self-esteem in adulthood.
Another cause can be your environment.
If you are constantly in a negative environment among negative people, this negativity will begin to rub off on you.
It will chip away at your ability to interact with positive people.
Eventually, you will buy into what the negative people say and your confidence will be affected.
You will feel like an outcast as if you are different and unworthy of happiness, success and prosperity.
Another reason can be past experiences of failure.
Perhaps you once failed at something you wanted to succeed in and someone made fun of you.
This may have happened multiple times in your life.
Once you start believing in the negative comments made to you by others, it is very difficult to believe in yourself again, and as a result, your confidence begins to decline.
The only way a man can turn feelings of low confidence around is to recognize the downward spiral he is in and start to make his own decisions.
He must become a leader, not a passive follower.
He must start believing in himself rather than waiting for someone else to believe in him.
He must understand that the past is not the future and that he can help to shape and determine his future by taking action in the now.
The past no longer exists.
What you believe to be true of the past depends entirely on you and, regardless of what you think about the past, it is up to you whether or not you let it dictate your future.
You have to make up your mind to move forward.
You have to choose not to rehash bad experiences in your head and let them control your life in the present.
Living in this non-reality of the past will only create a negative outcome and drive you further into the spectrum of low confidence.
E. Environmental Causes
There are many things in your environment capable of causing low self-esteem.
Perhaps you are surrounded by a group of women who serve as a constant reminder of what you can’t have because you are too afraid to try.
Or perhaps you are surrounded by a group of men who also have low confidence and self-esteem and it has influenced you to the point where it has become your default behaviour.
Being around such groups of people will make you unhappy, and eventually depressed and unable to thrive within everyday society.
You need to be careful about what environment you choose to put yourself in because it plays a massive role in how you feel and how others perceive you.
F. Behavioural Causes
Having low confidence means that you do not take action to achieve the things that you want in life.
Low confidence behaviours are projections of the thought processes you are constantly developing.
The negative things that happen over and over again strengthen those neuron-synapses.
A confident person sets a standard for himself according to his expectations, which he derives from the type of world he wants to live in.
He makes those standards and will stand up and fight for himself and his beliefs.
He will walk away from situations that do not appear in his best interests and present himself confidently in situations that do.
An unconfident person is likely to stay in a bad situation because he does not think he deserves better.
An unconfident person is not able to differentiate between good and bad because they are not consciously thinking about it and have not the compass to steer them toward the most positive outcome.
An unconfident person no longer has a high level of concern for their behaviour or their surroundings.
They become passive, lazy and surround themselves with people of a similar mindset.
G. Beliefs, Values & Mindset Causes
A low-confidence guy believes that he is not good enough to establish a better life than he has, and therefore his standards are naturally lower, as are his morals and expectations of himself and others.
His view is that the world is limited and that all he can do is just take what he can get.
He believes that he cannot break out of his perimeter and that all he can do is scrape by on small crumbs of happiness.
Conversely, a confident guy knows that he can have a very big piece of the pie and also get to share some of that pie with those around him.
He is not afraid or ashamed to be successful or to share his success with others.
H. Identity Level Causes
A person with low confidence will naturally have low self-esteem.
They will feel like they are not good enough, not worthy, and undeserving, believing that trying is pointless because they are likely to screw it up anyway.
I. Spirituality Level Causes
Einstein said that a universe is a friendly place, but this is for a confident guy, not for an unconfident guy, because it is related to how reality is perceived.
- Is a guy who lacks confidence going to have faith in himself?
- Is he going to feel like he was put here to succeed or that he’s condemned here to live?
On a spiritual level, a confident guy is very appreciative and gracious of the gift of life. He sees life as an opportunity for laughter, joy, and happiness.
J. Is Society To Blame?
Society can be blamed to an extent.
We are missing a link in our culture.
There is no longer a rite of passage for a boy becoming a man.
We do not have that tradition, and that is a disservice to our young men as they transition to adults.
Many countries have traditions where there is a clear elevation from boy to man.
In our society, the individual decides when he becomes a man.
It is normally an internal decision, which in some cases can result in many years of avoidance and denial.
There is no mark in the sand whereby a boy is required to cross over and step up and become a man.
The lack of a rite of passage means it is the individual’s responsibility.
For those lacking a strong male role model and the support of family and friends, and a lack of internal belief in themselves, having the confidence to grow into a man is challenging and presents many personal difficulties.
The transition from boy to a man can take many years.
It takes time to completely understand how to stand up for yourself, to learn how to make decisions that are in your best interests, and to start taking a genuine interest in improving the lives of others.
K. Are Your Friends & Family Holding You Back?
Absolutely, but you probably don’t even know it.
If the people you spend a lot of time with are low on confidence and self-esteem, you are going to be influenced by their behaviours.
Humans tend to take the easy pathway, to go along with the status quo because it seems like the easier option.
People tend to agree with other people because they want to be part of the “social norm.”
Whether it is a comment about the weather always being bad, when it isn’t, or a gym workout being too tough, when you’re okay with it, a lack of confidence persuades you to agree anyway and in turn, you genuinely start to believe in these negative thought trails.
L. Gossip & Negative News
If you surround yourself with people who lack confidence and have a negative attitude towards life, negativity will naturally play a major role in your life.
Whether you want it to or not, it will sneak into your consciousness and begin to create your reality.
These negative attitudes toward life will become your normal outlook.
I call this “psychic vampirism” because you cannot be around such an environment for long before you too are affected.
For example: if you are sitting in the middle of a room and two guys walk in with the same energy, you will immediately pick up on that energy.
In this situation, a confident person will maintain their energy regardless of the impact, while an unconfident person will adopt their energy in a bid to fit in with the status quo.
If these guys have their heads down and are lacking confidence, you will feed off of their emotions and begin to feel the same.
Surrounding yourself with confident people will make a huge difference to your outlook on life.
The guy who lacks confidence is not going to realize that he needs to get away from negative people because in that moment everything matches the reality he has become used to.
He will not have the strength to move on and get away from that environment.
A confident person will usually surround himself with other confident people because it feels better – better for his mindset and better for his health.
If you feel like your confidence isn’t as high as you’d like it to be, continue reading for the solution.
The Solution To Developing Unshakeable Confidence
M. Can You Fix This By Yourself?
It is possible for a person to fix low confidence by himself, but the process will be quicker and a lot easier if he has help.
I believe everybody needs a coach.
Not necessarily someone who tells you what to do, but someone who offers valuable insights; someone you respect and trust a spiritual guide, so to speak.
I still meet with my coach once a year, just to re-centre and make sure that I am being the best that I absolutely can be.
It keeps me accountable and realigns any kinks in the chain.
Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
This is why the insight of others is important.
It is always useful to have someone in your life that can offer you a realistic point of view from a different standpoint or someone who has gone through a similar process before and can provide empathy and alternative insight.
This is why it is important to be in the company of confident people who have gone through the processes required to get to the place you want to be in your life.
They will have solutions to offer, they will be able to offer positive advice, and they will instil confidence and belief in you.
N. My Method: “Redesign The Way You Think”
To “redesign the way you think” is to continually develop as an individual and carve out a unique life design that is representative of your personality, talents, morals and goals.
In other words: to create a mindset for prosperity and perpetual development.
As a child, you have a blueprint of your design.
Think about how unique young children are in the things they say, habits they adopt and actions they take.
This is what makes children so interesting, and funny at times. As you get older, your environment and family heavily influence your actions.
In many ways, this can be positive, such as learning respect for others and developing a moral compass.
But when there are too much influence and not enough space given for individual growth and critical thinking, by the time we get to our teens we can become passive, easily influenced, and therefore lacking in the individual confidence to carve out our blueprint for the life we want to lead.
I believe that a person can achieve whatever the mind can perceive, within the limits of scientific capability, of course.
But achieving greatness requires a process of constant redesigning.
We must continually stop and re-evaluate who we are, what is going on around us, and where we want to be.
This is the process of redesigning.
O. What Kind Of Commitment Is Required?
If you are just starting on your path of redevelopment and design, you should indulge as much as possible, no matter where you are in your life journey.
You need to put a lot of time into a garden that hasn’t been weeded for some time.
You need to get the garden to a point where it is easily manageable again.
So, when your confidence has increased to a healthy level, you can reduce the amount of time you work on it and put more time into enjoying the positive interactions that come about as a result of your hard work.
As your confidence grows, you will begin to experience the joy that you have been missing in your life.
You will begin to enjoy life on a higher plane and attract more positive people and opportunity into your life.
When I was using life scripts as a personal development tool, I used to read them twice a day.
I would read them before I went to bed each night and when I woke up in the morning.
I used to read them over and over again.
I then came to a day when I didn’t need to do that anymore.
I would look at them every once in a while for reinforcement, but I didn’t need to physically read them every day because they had become part of me and were reflected in my everyday actions.
But just because you are reading life scripts daily it doesn’t mean that you won’t experience negative thoughts.
You will always have a mixture of positive and negative thoughts; this is normal human behaviour.
The skill is in learning to weed out the negative thoughts from your garden to allow your positive thoughts to multiply and flourish.
P. How Hypnosis Can Increase Confidence
Hypnosis works on a far deeper level than simple advice.
It can reroute or redesign the way you are thinking.
It can create a powerful new voice that overrides the old voice(s).
Hypnosis can reinforce positive beliefs and eliminate negative ones.
Using hypnosis, we can program new thoughts into our mindset and create a support mechanism to help battle the negativity from within.
It is like having a guide standing next to you when you lose your way and need some direction through the fog of intrusive thoughts and emotions.
It is not an instant fix for confidence, but when used regularly it can recondition the mind in a positive, sustainable way.
In Napoleon Hill’s “Think And Grow Rich”, he talks about spending 20 to 30 minutes a day focusing on what you want and bringing that intention to the forefront of your mind, and repeating it over and over again until it becomes a habit.
My Collection of Confidence hypnosis program works similarly.
Used daily, in a fairly short space of time, your confidence will be transformed and your life will begin to take a very powerful, positive direction.
Q. This Works For Every Level Of Guy, From Beginner To Advanced
You might be thinking, “Sure, but confidence is for sports jocks and model-looking guys.”
But get that thought out of your mind right now.
My hypnosis methods are proven to work for guys from all walks of life.
You see, the main issue is not in the kind of guy you are, but how society has trained our minds to be.
We are led away from our sexuality; taught to believe it’s wrong to embrace our primal instincts.
But this is what attracts women, not some timid guy pussyfooting around and acting all shy and aloof.
- Women are attracted to a confident man who knows what he wants and goes after what he wants.
- Women like a man who thinks for himself, a man who is a strong-minded individual.
- Women want a man who, if they are having an off day, will go home and read over their life script, or listen to a hypnosis track, to re-centre and get themselves back into the right frame of mind for all-round prosperity.
No woman is attracted to a miserable, negative guy who moans about life’s shortcomings all the time.
3 Steps To Success — Redesigning Your Life & The Way You Think
R. Step #1: Redesign Your Environment
First of all, a person who wants to change his environment immediately needs to understand that he will have to sacrifice things in his life.
You will have to sacrifice time that you would usually spend with friends and family.
You will have to sacrifice many of life’s easy choices to make new, potentially uncomfortable ones.
You will also need to consider your friendship group and those people with whom you spend your time.
You need to surround yourself with positive people.
If you identify that you are spending time with people that are a bad influence on your mindset, you may have to make the difficult choice to cut those people off.
You will have to question the places you go and decide which are most conducive to improving your confidence.
You could stay at home and watch TV or play computer games, or you might choose to go to a more sociable place where you can meet new people and expand your horizons; places like the gym, seminars, meet-up groups and events related to your interests and hobbies.
S. How Your Environment Will Change Over Time
Motivated people tend to hang around together, so when you join such groups your social circle will rapidly expand.
You will find people with similar interests to you.
You will begin to share your growth path with like-minded people and draw inspiration from others, which in turn will grow your confidence three-fold.
Once you find yourself interacting regularly in new social groups, you will begin to crave time to yourself.
Every man needs a little quiet time.
We each need to find a sanctuary away from the noise to contemplate life and re-centre the mind.
This might be the library, the park, or the gym.
Find your special place, a place that reenergizes you and makes you feel at one with the world.
T. Step #2: Redesign Your Behaviors
Secondly, you will need to begin designing and redesigning your behaviours.
You have to begin thinking for yourself and not rely on others to take the lead for you.
This sounds like a simple step, but the majority of people just don’t do this.
You must start living through your expectations and not the expectations of others.
You must devise your pathway to walk toward the goals you want in life.
No one can live your life for you.
You need to develop your blueprint based on your individual qualities and keep redesigning and refining those qualities to give yourself the lifestyle you want.
Right now you lack confidence, so primarily you need to concentrate on improving areas of your life conducive to increasing your confidence.
If others in your social circle do not agree with your motivations or do not want to support your plans, then so be it, you must move forward alone, regardless.
Listen to your intuition.
What feels right for you?
Follow that instinct.
When you start redesigning your behaviours, it is important to concentrate on one at a time.
This makes the redesign process manageable and stops the risk of becoming overwhelmed by change and lost in action paralysis.
Even Benjamin Franklin took this one-by-one approach.
He picked one thing a month and worked on it until it became a default behaviour.
For example: let’s say that previously I had been drinking nothing but Coca Cola, but now I want to be healthier and drink one gallon of water a day instead.
Drinking this water will be the only thing I concentrate on for one month.
This goal is easily measurable because I don’t need to remember much at all, only that I need to focus on drinking the water each day.
This will quickly become a default, normal behaviour for me.
Once it’s mastered, I simply move on to the next goal.
For the next month, instead of going to see my friends three times a week, I am going to go to the gym and workout on two of those days instead.
Then, the month after, I am going to cut out saturated fats from my diet and replace them with healthier foods.
You get the idea.
You do it for a month, and it becomes a habit.
It becomes programmed into your system.
Over a year, going through this assessment and replacement process will trigger a dramatic change in your life, especially when compared to the old you who tried to do four or five things at once and failed to make a success of anyone.
U. Changing Your Behaviors Around Women
Women are a huge distraction for men when they are executing their plan to gain more confidence.
Whenever a woman comes into a man’s life, he tends to cut down on contact with friends, neglect his interests and goals and focuses the majority of his time and attention on her.
A woman can be an inspiration or a distraction, depending on where you are at on your life journey, which is why I always say that you need to get yourself together first, then you will be able to focus on the best parts of her while maintaining other aspects of your personal life and staying focused on your goals.
The other key point here is that you need to be able to understand yourself before you can expect a woman to understand and love who you are.
Now is the time to concentrate on you, to step aside from society and women and assess what improvements you need to make to become more confident, and ultimately more successful.
You need to be comfortable with your inner man before you begin a life journey with a woman.
Moreover, when you don’t have a full-time relationship to worry about, you save a lot of mental energy.
And you can use that energy to build your confidence and continue personal growth.
As you work on your inner programming, you become stronger, fitter, and smarter.
In essence, you become a better man, one who will naturally begin to attract only the best women into his life.
You want to be at a point in your life where you can present the best possible for you to prospective women, and you need to make sure that you have enough confidence to do this.
V. Step #3: Redesign The Way You Think (Values, Beliefs, Mindsets)
My Collection of Confidence program was created using the blueprint I developed on my pathway to mastering my inner game.
I have walked an extremely difficult pathway, learning through challenging lessons every step of the way.
I now share my experiences and advice with other men who want to grow into themselves and be the best they can – men who want to be masters of their destiny and be admired and respected for their confidence, leadership and contribution to life.
The Collection of Confidence is the definitive blueprint for achieving the bulletproof confidence you crave.
And what an opportunity it is.
Man, I wish I had this program during my development.
There wasn’t any self-hypnosis out there back then because there was no Internet.
There was no YouTube or downloading of mp3s.
The fact is, if you undertake the Collection of Confidence, and truly commit to using it, you will develop unshakable confidence in rapid time.
But before you begin, you need to make a promise to yourself.
You need to promise yourself that you are willing to break your current mould and move forward toward fulfilling your potential.
If you are ready to put the energy in, I guarantee that you will be successful and find yourself in a far more prosperous place.
But you have to be in the right mindset. You have to believe that you can develop unshakable confidence and that you deserve this opportunity.
W. The Collection of Confidence — How It Transplants Values, Beliefs & Mindsets Directly Into Your Brain
Hypnosis requires belief.
If you fighting against becoming more confident, if you are comfortable with being negative and resistant to change, you will not get the most out of this program.
There are thousands of guys who have completed this program and continue to use it to keep making gains in all areas of their lives: I’m talking better jobs, better salaries, more women, better health, better friends, more respect from others, and in general a happier life.
You need to believe that you can redesign yourself for the better too. You need to believe that you are worthy of redesigning yourself.
This will be your foundation to work from. It is imperative that you believe in yourself before you get started.
X. Take Action Now
It is only worth taking action when you believe that you are worthy of gaining confidence.
You need to believe that NOW is the right time for you to change your actions and your surroundings for the better.
You need to stop living in the past and accept that tomorrow doesn’t exist.
So, if you are ready…
…NOW is the time to start making profound, positive changes in your life.
You do not need to continue to live the way you currently do.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve unshakable confidence, high-level self-esteem, and the respect of others.
I don’t want guys doing this program who are unsure if they are ready to move forward.
I want guys on board who know that they are ready to step up to the play and start winning in life.
I want to work with guys who believe they can be the best they can.
I want guys who want to redesign their life in the way they want it to be.
I want guys who believe this program can sky-rocket their confidence to the point where they believe they could even run for President!
So, what are you waiting for, man?
Life is moving forward.
Time waits for no man…
…There are millions of women out there waiting for the new, confident you to appear.
There are hundreds of thousands of new jobs and promotions, tons of new friends, zillions of new opportunities, all just waiting for you to step up.
Don’t let life pass you by.
Let’s start redesigning your life and mapping out your pathway to unshakable confidence and a better, happier life right NOW.
Your Next Step
You know how it works… Are you ready to supercharge your confidence?
Then watch this: (Click the image).
Eric Von Sydow