Here are the five biggest ways most guys mess their conversations with women even before they get a chance to spark attraction.
Now, let me be honest here…
If you want to spark attraction in a woman… then you must be able to talk with her.
You may know the world’s “most effective attraction building tactics”… BUT if you can’t keep the conversation going with a woman… YOU WIND UP GOING NOWHERE with her… (But don’t worry, that’s what we’re going to discuss in this post today — some of the world’s “best attraction building tactics”).
For now, let me walk you through some of the exact ways you’re ruining your conversations with a woman… probably making sub-consciously.
MISTAKE #1: Forgetting about the “90/10 rule” when having a conversation with a woman
Have you ever noticed that most conversations don’t pick up momentum until you are 5 to 10 minutes in?
The reason it’s like that is that when you start to talk with someone new, particularly someone you met for the first time, they’re going to be just as cold in their heads as you were before you make yourself ready to start having conversations with others.
This is because a conversation needs some time to build “conversation momentum.”
But most don’t allow enough time for their conversations to build that “momentum.”
They expect to hit this “conversation flow” rather sooner. And because of this, the exact opposite happens… and their conversations just “stall out.”
But you got to remember that you need to keep the conversation flowing. So, you must be prepared, in the first 5 to 10 minutes, to do most of the talking by providing 90%, and sometimes even 100%, per cent of all the content until they start to get warmed up a little bit.
And how do you do that?
Well, the rule is pretty easy: keep talking!
That’s right. Keep talking.
By keeping talking, you take charge of the conversation right from the start, and by doing so, you also let her to “warm up” and shift her brain from “spectator mode” to the “give more.”
In other posts, I’m going to tell you exactly what tools you’ll need to be able to do this easily… but for now, I just want you to HAVE been prepared to talk almost 90% of the time for the first 5 to 10 minutes of your conversations with the ladies…
MISTAKE #2: Failing to recognize the signs a woman is sending off them
You have to learn how to recognize the signs that women are sending off to you so that you understand exactly whether you have got the right type of emotional intensity (the right “vibe”) and whether your conversation topics are interesting enough for this point in the conversation.
So how do you do that?
Well, you only have to use your senses. For example, you’ll have to use your eyes and ears as your best buddies. You have got to spot women’s reactions to your conversation topics and learn to be able to read them to your advantage.
You must have a good sense of when you are boring her, and when you are exciting her, and how is she reacting to you when she feels these things. You just have to keep your eyes and your ears wide open.
Here’s a rule of thumb when you start a conversation with a woman or with a group of women: you have a little bit more energy than that group had before you entered into the conversation.
If you get to spot where she is at in terms of her energy level, her excitement, her enthusiasm, and how her neurology is lit up and wired up, and if you can pitch your own energy level slightly above hers, you’ll be certain to be successful wherever you go because you will not be too much and you will not too little.
MISTAKE #3: Not assuming rapport right from the beginning.
For many years I could not simply comprehend why it took me SO looooooong to establish rapport with women… while my friends seem to just jump right into it…
And then one day it finally hit me…
I was waiting for the rapport to happen naturally… while my friend was already assuming it.
So, the next time you’re talking to a woman, even if you just met her for the first time at the mall… talk to her in the same way you would talk to your friends.
But I notice that a lot of guys do just the opposite… they try to talk to a woman in a “formal, stiff” kind of way that is reserved for strangers… and doing this makes it even more apparent that you are a STRANGER. And this is what makes her put her guard up. And this leads to that dreaded uncomfortable “awkwardness” that is disastrous to your conversations with women.
But by assuming rapport and simply jumping right into it you automatically establish a more natural feeling conversation and give her the experience of the feeling of “knowing you forever.”
MISTAKE #4: Running into the dreaded “interview mode”
I know you’ve run into this kind of situation countless times before… you know, you’re having a conversation with a woman, yet it feels like you’re on a job interview.
This is commonly known as the dreaded “interview mode.”
Why does this happen?
Well, this happens because you don’t know exactly what to say to her… so to keep the conversation going you wind up asking her questions like:
- What do you do for fun?
- What do you do for a living?
- What kind of music do you like?
- Where did you grow up?
It’s not just the questions themselves that kill the attraction… but it’s also the rapid firing off one question after another… and the steady stream of fact-based answers that kill any kind of “chemistry” between the two of you.
But a good conversation is supposed to be fun, vibing back and forth between the two of you…. and it is NOT supposed to feel like a job interview.
MISTAKE #5: Allowing a woman to “lead” the conversation
Most guys, I realise, are so unsure of themselves when having a conversation with a woman that they wind up looking for a woman to offer them some kind of “permission” or “approval” before they take charge in the conversation.
And doing this is DEAD wrong.
The minute a woman senses you are waiting for her to take the LEAD of the conversation… her attraction towards you immediately drops back to “ground-zero” level.
Why do most guys let a woman lead the conversation?
Most guys wait for a woman to LEAD the conversation because they’re too scared of choosing the wrong topic… or they’re scared of “offending her”…
But you must understand this…
Women will follow whatever you say to her as long as you set the right tone for the conversation. For example, if you create a fun, playful, and flirtatious vibe around her… she’ll follow your lead.
And even if she doesn’t want to talk about the topic you’ve chosen to discuss with her… she’ll STILL respect you for taking the initiative to talk about it with her.
And you wanna know…
The BIGGEST Mistake:
Do you really want to know the BIGGEST mistake that most guys make when it comes to having a conversation with women?
Well, here it is…
Not asking for help.
Would you believe me if I told you that almost 10 years ago information like this one was almost impossible to get on improving your conversation skills with women? This meant that guys in the past were forced to either struggle forever… or figure it out on their own.
However, it’s different now… you have all the information available at your fingertips now… that means you have absolutely no excuse… and there’s always help available to you. The kind of help that can change your “game” forever… almost overnight.
Even though it has been over 7 years since I last had a problem with this… I still understand the pain you feel now… I had felt it for almost two-thirds of my life. And I don’t wish that kind of a pain to anyone.
Now, I know that anyone can go out and talk to women and create attraction, anytime, anywhere.
This is the exact reason that pushed my friend, Bobby Rio, to create a program on this topic. Bobby asked 5 of the best pickup artists (PUAs) who are considered to be the absolute best at striking up a conversation with a woman… to join him on this program to help him create that change in you — a lot quicker than it took him.
This conversation training program is jam-packed with dozens and dozens of killer strategies for creating the right mindset for talking to a women, making her laugh, getting “in the zone”, creating rapport, overcoming all kinds of “shit tests”, keeping a conversation going naturally, dealing with guys who might be overshadowing you, and most importantly, creating ATTRACTION as you talk to a woman…
Listen. This is one of the most detailed “conversation training” programs out there in the market. There is absolutely no way you can listen to this program and not be able to come up with at least a dozen killer conversation tips that will change the way you communicate with women… almost overnight.