3 Scientifically Proven Ways To Eliminate Anxiety With Women
So you are shy around women, huh?
If you find reading this article appealing, then most likely you think yourself as “introverted.”
What does it mean by being “introverted”?
It’s not what you think. Being introverted does NOT mean that you like to spend most of your time sitting alone at home, reading books all day long.
Being “introverted” actually means that you are consumed with your own thoughts and feelings instead than with external things.
In other words, you are always stuck inside your head. You often spend time analyzing a situation, particularly socially.
Let me go one step further. You are “introverted” if your idea of sitting back and chilling means spending time away from others.
Extroverted people, on the other hand, are completely different. They love spending their free time with others. They recharge their batteries from other people around them. The idea of being alone sounds just tiring and boring to them.
Does this make sense to you?
Let me share you a secret that nobody else will ever tell you…
“Introversion” and “Extroversion” are the by-product of your self-image (or how you view yourself as a person).
They are labels that classify you as being one person and not others.
But here’s the fact: everybody has both “extroverted” AND “introverted” side of themselves. Everyone is capable of being outgoing and social in one situation and shy and withdrawn in another.
Just view introversion and extroversion as being different muscle groups of your body… The more you go out and socialize, the more outgoing and social you become. On the other hand, the less you go out, the less social you become.
If you want to become more outgoing and social, then you’ve got to go out more and practice being social.
Now that you understand this, I want you to realize one more important thing… your “shyness” (or introversion) is NOT the real problem.
The real problem is that you have “social anxiety” and you don’t know how to overcome it.
The real problem is that you have “social anxiety” and you don’t know how to overcome it.
So, in today’s article, I’m going to reveal to you 3 simple useful exercises that you can start applying in social situations.
Here’s the good news: these exercises do NOT require you to change ‘who you are’ as a person. You only need to learn how to control your emotions under social pressure.
These 3 highly effective tips will instantly put you into an amazing emotional state.
Emotions are infectious. And when you start making all these new habits a part of your life, then you’ll start to notice a lot of people being attracted to you. And then your anxiety will vanish out of your existence… forever.
So let’s dive right into it…
Shy Guy Solution #1: Being aware of your 3 things
This is the secret of boosting your self-esteem, and start becoming that attractive guy from inside out… always knowing the 3 things that excite you.
Where your focus goes, your energy flows
Next time you’re in a social situation, talking to a beautiful girl you like, and you catch beating yourself about how “shy” you are, or how bad you are feeling… I want you to just ask yourself this…
“What are the 3 quick ways I can re-frame this negative experience into a positive experience?”
For instance, if you are driving back home after a really important job interview and you think you failed.
Step number 1 is to notice that you are actually thinking about something negative and that is it killing your mood.
Step number 2 is to immediately think about 3 things that you can be grateful for…. or you are excited about at that moment.
For example, you could choose to focus on something “positive” (the day is warm and sunny and the sky is blue outdoing), or that you never have to think about the interview ever again, or that you finally have some free time to spend with your friends.
Change your focus, change your life.
You can do the same with your conversations with beautiful women…
If a girl said something “rude” and you took it negatively (for example, she said you are “not my type” or “too nice”) rather than storming off from the scene feeling all negative about the comment, immediately re-frame this situation as being something positive (she is trying to flirt with you).
Do this by coming up with 3 reasons (in your own mind) that she is clearly interested in you.
Here are a few examples of things you can say to yourself…
- “She is never going to impress me with that kind of attitude”
- “Is that the best pickup line she could come up with?”
- “If that’s her way of saying she wants to be “bad” with me, then well, I might give it a try.”
I know, following this simple exercise won’t feel easy at first. Especially true if you are feeling all negative and down.
But if you make a commitment to change what you focus on (something positive) from each moment, then this piece of advice is all you need to make a dramatic improvement into your life.
Shy Guy Solution #2: Change your body language
Any time you are in a social situation and you start to feel anxious, know that the main reason behind that is the result of your body language or posture.
- You are most likely holding your glass closer to your chest…
- Your knees are locked together, and your feet aren’t moving a lot…
- Your elbows are likely closing your body…
And once you know what your body language is like, then the FIX is pretty simple…
Correct your posture and body language that are responsible for making you feel shy and anxious.
You see, your mind and body are connected very closely.
As a result, your mood can be a reflection of your body language.
Just picture a guy who looks all depressed. How would he look like?
His shoulders are slumped. His chin is down. He is walking around with that mopey look on his face.
Now just imagine someone who is feeling really awesome, and is the life of the party. What do you think he looks like?
His shoulders are back and relaxed. He is standing tall with chest puffed out. His eyes are looking straight ahead. He has a smile on his face. He looks happy.
By now, you probably have a good idea of what a good body language looks like. So the next time you find yourself feeling all down and bad, just bring your focus back to your body and correct it instantly.
Rule to abide by: Tall and open is better, small and closed off is bad.
For example, if you are holding your drinks near your chest, and your elbows are by your side… simply place down your drink by your side, and puff out your chest a little bit. Of, you are sitting down on a chair looking down, immediately stand up and look straight ahead with a huge smile on your face.
You are doing this exercise to FIX your poor posture and body language that is causing you to feel anxious and nervous.
It’s that much simple.
(And if you want to learn more about how your posture and body language is actually responsible for your confidence, then I highly recommend that you watch a great Ted Talk given by Amy Cuddy on “Your body language may shape who you are”)
Shy Guys Solution #3: Cold Showers
Alright… maybe you don’t have any self-esteem issues… If that’s the case, the only thing that may be stopping you from having a great time socializing with the ladies is your anxiety and fear towards overwhelming social situations.
And if you have “approach anxiety” (can’t approach beautiful women), or tend to hesitate to approach girls in social situations, then you’ll absolutely LOVE this tactic…
Start taking COLD showers daily.
Nothing will benefit you more to stay calm, cool, and relaxed under pressure than a cold shower.
Just imagine this for a second…
You turn on the shower, and the ice-cold drops of water start hitting your skin, almost feeling like needles piercing on your skin, before you actually enter it.
Now think about that anxious feeling of nervousness and hesitation. Everything inside of your is trying to stop you from jumping right under that cold running water…
This feeling right here is the exact feeling that most “shy” (introverted) guys feel before approaching a girl they like.
The fear. The anxiety. The hesitation.
But by training yourself to jump right into that cold shower and stay relaxed and calm in the tension of that cold drops of water hitting on your skin like needles… you are actually training yourself to crush your social anxiety.
The good news is that every time you do this, it becomes easier and easier.
And just like with everything else in the world you practice daily, slowly but surely your weakness starts to become your strength.
By taking a cold shower every day, you are training yourself to become more relaxed, confident, and calm around beautiful women and different social situations.
Just make sure to practice staying calm, cool, and collected when that icy cold water starts hitting down your skin. Do this every day and you’ll eventually start to notice you becoming a master at controlling your emotional state.
I want you to give that gift to yourself.
I want you to begin using all these 3 different tips into your social life, starting today, and I promise that other “introverted” dudes will start looking up to YOU as the guys who are social, outgoing, and extremely confident with women.
P.S. You are amazing.
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BTW, here’s another related article on the topic: