The Importance of Socially Vibing with Others
The ability to socially vibe with others is the skill set to read the non-verbal cues sent off by others. This skill set is often referred to as “social intelligence.” Social savvy people can instantly tell if someone is happy, mad, or plain psycho, etc, just by reading their non-verbal cues (reading a vibe). So being conscious of the signs women send out tells a guy what he needs to do next to move the interaction to the next level. Flirting and socializing trains your mind to be aware of these social cues and sharpens your ability to interpret the underlying message and act accordingly. After a while, you become a socially savvy guy.
A socialyl savvy man “communicates above his emotions.” Most guys base how they interact with others based on their emotional response or feelings. For example, sometimes guys tend to argue just for the sake of winning. I know a lot of guys are obsessed with “winning” an argument. While arguing is a good example, submitting to an emotional response can be very subtle. Sometimes things just go under the radar, so you must always ask this to yourself:
Is what I am doing currently to this girl bringing me any near to this girl? Will doing this give me the best possible result?
When you ask yourself these sorts of questions, you then start to connect with other people through “tactical communication.” You’ll be more successful with women if you stop trying to “win” an argument just to be right and start thinking about what things give you the best possible outcome. If a girl is shouting at you, the vibe is clearly not working to bring the two of your together. So it’s very important to exercise assertiveness to establish a vibe that brings the two of you together. In other words, always act in a way that is in alignment with the best possible outcome. Here are a few examples:
Guy: Hey how r u? I’m Bill.
Girl: Please stay away from me!
Guy: Baby, why are we always fighting?
Guy: So anyway, what’s your name?
Girl: I’m Sarah…
Let me explain: Instead of reacting to a negative response, the socially savvy guy immediately directs the girl’s rude behaviour (negativity) into a playful banter that forges rapport between two strangers. The “vibe” immediately changes and is now conducive to success.
You can even change the vibe and bring it around to the one that is more positive and fun. Everyone likes a socially savvy guy who can take negative emotions and turn them into positive and fun. By picking up cues and communicating above your emotions, you can learn to become a tactical communicator.
How to Impose a Vibe
Asserting your vibe is the peak of everything it means to be a man. To assert a vibe, you must use elements of your leadership, masculinity, creativity, and empathy of others. Inevitably, asserting your vibe becomes an unconscious expression of your confidence.
But, when you are learning how to vibe with others, there are a few techniques you must do consciously to assert your vibe.
Even the most socially adept guys are a blend of DOING and BEING, which means that no matter how some technique become unconscious for you, you’ll still have to DO something. This also means if you’re already getting good results with women, you can DO certain things to get even better results. Now, let’s look a few tips to apply:
Statements and questions
Specific types of statements and questions assert a vibe by compelling other people to open themselves to you. By placing a person on a slight disadvantage, you can easily direct (or redirect) the vibe to where you want it to lead.
So having a set of some good statements and questions ready to deliver anytime, anywhere ensures that you are in control of the vibe.
As you probably already know, masculine energy is all about building, conquering, and destroying, while feminine energy is all about nurturing, generating, and creating. These two energies complete each other. As a man, you are able to express both your assertive nature (masculine) and creative (feminine) traits. However, when imposing a vibe, you must deliberately “steer” your masculine energy. Assertive masculine energy draws out a submissive reaction from others.
Masculine assertiveness imposes a vibe in two main ways:
Your vocal tonality.
To impose your vibe, try talking with others in a tone of authority. Ask questions and make statements in an expressive but dominant way. Get them to explain themselves to you, just like a puppet master do.
At the very minimum, there should be no squeakiness in your voice, sounding as if you each sentence with a tentative voice. You’re not trying to seek approval, you’re just trying to talk to people like you would do to friends you have known for a very long time.
Projecting your voice is the trick! Speak from your diaphragm and belly. Feel the resonance of your voice from your chest. Project your voice upward as you speak. When you are talking to a woman face to face, talk to her as if you’re 12 feet away.
The way you touch
If you want to stop the girl of your dreams as she walks by, you must grab her and pull her in LIKE YOU TRULY MEAN IT. The same thing applies if you tapping a girl on the shoulder. The tap must not be soft and feminine, but masculine and assertive. Don’t be a he-bitch! Be a MAN.
Masculine assertiveness is most obvious when a girl is not even looking at you (e.g. you are waiting behind her to order your drink at the bar). The tonality of your voice and the way you touch let her know whether you are really an attractive dude or just another he-bitch. If your voice tonality or touch is off point, you’ll notice that women don’t turn back when you try to talk to them, or even acknowledge you tapping them on the shoulder in the club.
Imposing a vibe and reading social cues are essential social skills that make a huge difference when interacting with women. Even if you are already very successful with women, you might want to keep a few of these tips in the back of your mind the next time you see that beautiful girl walk past.