Constructing Your “Sexy Vibe” (And Making Girls Go Nuts)
Most guys think they don’t know how to talk to girls. They falsely believe that in order to get a beautiful girl’s attention, they must have conversational banter better than Oscar Wilde’s… Perhaps, they learn all these stupid ideas from watching a lot of Hollywood “chick flicks” or they put beautiful women on a pedestal. Because of these reasons, many guys think whatever they say is not good enough, or intelligent enough, or funny enough. While it is absolutely true that what you have to say to girls is good enough, intelligent enough, and funny enough, this article is not going to criticize you for overthinking about what to say to girls and then tell you to improve your confidence and “inner game.”
Don’t get me wrong. Knowing exactly what to say to a woman does help you build your confidence level and improve your “inner game”. While I do advise that you do place your confidence in saying exactly what’s on your mind when talking to girls, here are a few more pointers that can “cure” the disease of not knowing what to say to girls and create attraction.
1. Create “You and Me” Vibe
Whenever you are talking to girl you like, I want you to focus your time and effort in building rapport with her… as soon as possible. The quicker you can transition from a “stranger” to a “fun, playful, and hot” the better. So, creating that “you and me” vibe, instead of “you vs. me” vibe, must be your numero uno agenda when talking to girls. And I know a few killer ways to go about doing that like, building rapport (“Wow, incredible… I think me and you are the only two people in this club who truly like Tom Hanks movies.”), or playing it funny (“Hey, you look like my future ex-girlfriend”), or simply being serious (“Hey, I am Abishek. I saw you and had to say a quick Hi.”) Establishing that “you and me” vibe early in the interaction prevents any future bullshit because it gives you all the reasons to get along if she starts acting weird again (“Babe, why would you treat the only other person who loves Tom Hanks so much like this? Come on, this isn’t us”). Whether you build connection through common interests, through role-plays, or through a situation or an environment, the underlying theme of “you and her” vibe should seep throughout your interaction with her, and most importantly, throughout your relationship with her.
2. Build Tension
Tension keeps the interaction going forward. Introducing tension into a conversation makes it fun, interesting, and a bit awkward, nevertheless, it is extremely addictive to women. Understanding “tension” is understanding “confidence.” Tension results when two polarities are pulling each other in opposite directions. So, if you are a shy and wimpy, then a woman’s polarity will pull you, destroying the tension needed for sparking “attraction” (also known as “The Nice Guy Syndrome”).
Once you understand how/why tension works, begin “holding the line” and create moments of tension into your conversations with women. By knowing your personal boundaries and interests, you can confidently disagree with a girl if she says something that you don’t like. Most guys think that by agreeing with everything a woman says will make her like him. But that’s not true. A woman wants to sees you as a man with his own personal interests and boundaries.
So if she starts rambling about Rihanna or anything else that you personally don’t care about, saying, “Na, I don’t like that thing at all…” will create tension. But remember, doing this doesn’t destroy the “you and me” vibe because it is still you and her, but this time, it’s the REAL you and her (not just some “fake-dude-pretending-to-be-girl and her”). And, most of the time, this tension also turns the interaction sexual with girls, so saying something like, “Damn, It’s been only 2 minutes, but I haven’t stopped thinking about kissing you since I saw you” or “I’m glad we are in public, otherwise we would be doing things that could get us arrested in Mexico” displays that you’re comfortable with your masculinity and allowing women to feel her feminine (or wild!) side too.
3. Being “funny”
Combining sexual escalation with fun and humour is the best way to keep the interaction going forward.
The most effective and also the easiest ways to become funny around women is exaggerating everything you say. Taking “mundane topics” and making them “over-the-top” and dramatic is a surefire way to get girls cracking out loud in no big time. So, for example, if you were asking a girl out to meet you at Burger King, it would be incredibly funny to say, “OMG, I’m talking you to this place where they serve burgers that’s pure heaven. It’s the best-kept secret of <your city>…. but don’t worry, I’ll expose you to the culture and decor known as the BURGER KING. This place is amazing, you can’t even order in English… they have their own language like grande burger, moyen burger, and petite burger. The good news is I can translate for you.”
Another way to be funny is by having a pocket full of funny labels and phrases and start teasing a girl with names such as “Wino” (if she drinks wine) or “Chatty Cathy” (if she talks a lot), which will alway make her laugh. For more comedy gold, I recommend that you to watch a few comedy shows/movies. Words like “diva,” “wanskter,” and “twat swatter” are all phrases that I have picked up from pop culture and used countless of times into my arsenal of hilarity. Open your eyes and start collecting all these funny things to say to a girl!
4. Use Whatever In Front of You
Guys who often complain about facing ‘awkward silences’ or ‘running out of things to say’ to girls are often the ones who walk around like they have blinders on their eyes. But if you open your eyes it’s not that difficult to find interesting topics to talk about with babes. Everything from how the girl is dressed up to what other people around you are doing or saying should be a source for excellent topics for great conversations. For example, I often grab a girl’s hand, and then examine her rings and blurt out something silly like, “Oh la la, bling, bling, bling!!” or sometimes I grab her necklace and say, “Cute. I really like it. And, now, I am going to steal it.” I could probably have a conversation with a girl for the entire night talking about nothing but just making stupid comments about something she’s wearing. And if that soon dries up, I look around me for more topics and come up with silly stories about the people around us. Sometimes, I talk about sexual topics. For example, I may point out to a young couple and say something hilaious like, “I bet that couple have bad sex because he probably has a small d!ck” or I could even talk about “PG-rated” topics like, “Do you think that guy is really her boyfriend or she is just having a secret affair?” Nevertheless, if you are aware of everything that’s in front of you, then you should never run out of things to say to a girl.
Memorise these tips and use them into your conversations with girls. But have patient. Learning to cultivate the habit of talking and talking takes time and practice. Be willing to make mistakes and look stupid at times. In fact, allowing yourself to make mistakes can actually lead to having a great conversation with girls. Whenever I say something stupid (which I admit I say a lot more than I care to admit), I often roll my eyes and tell the girl, “Wow, wasn’t that so stupid? That kind of shit sometimes comes out of my mouth…” Being good at talking with women comes from one core belief that what you have to say is already good enough to girls (even if it sounds “so retarded”). So with these simple tips in mind, I want you to go out and start talking to some chicks, and turn that belief into a conviction!