The clinical safety called the “Kino”
Back when I new to the “game,” I remember using a pickup community’s secret code to describe touching women. Rather than feel and enjoy the pleasure of a sexualized touch, I sterilized it by using a word for it: “kino.” Using a word “kino” to describe touching women is like having sex with a woman wearing a biohazard suit; in both instances, you completely wipe out the sheer joy and feelings of the act for safety.
Crash down those safety barriers you put between you and the woman you are sexually interested in. Touching beautiful women don’t require you to use a secret code like “kino” — it only requires a boner. Crush any illusions that surround the term “touch.” Breaking through the glass ceiling of touching has the power to skyrocket your success with women. Handle this part of your life now.
“Kino:” Paradigm Shift
The awkwardness most guys feel before being physical with women comes from one major issue: “the perfect pickup.” The perfect pickup is the “mental filter” most guys use when picking up women. An obvious mistake of the “perfect pickup” is that rather than expect a few social frictions when picking up a girl, most guys tend to “avoid it.”
Why does this happen? It happens simply because you’ve been “stuck in your head.” Ever wonder why guys who study pickup material sometimes become even worse? It’s because most of the pickup material is based on the “perfection paradigm.” The more books you study about seduction, the more you start believing you can make your pickups “perfect.”
I’ve been in pickup community for years, so trust me when I say pickup is anything but perfect. In fact, if you ever tried to pick up a woman “perfectly,” it probably means you did something stupid.
Rather than pickup women “perfectly,” shift your paradigm: expect some social frictions. When Fred and I changed our pickup paradigm and started hitting bars expecting to offend women or get slapped, we started to get even better results. Obviously, we met some friction along the way — but that’s where the REAL “game” is.
In other words…
Meeting women being honest in your intention is all about doing what you want, when you want, where you want, and with the girl you want. REAL “game” is all about skillfully handling a few social frictions you encounter when you do what you want, when you want, with the girl you want.
Side-note: the game only begins when she puts the brakes on your advances. Until then, you really don’t need to apply any formal “game.” Just make a habit of saying and doing whatever you want or feel without a “filter.” Inevitably you’re going to say or do something offensive — and that’s when it’s time for the REAL “game.”
“Fire, aim, ready”
Pay attention to this new paradigm shift from the old way of gaming in 2005. In the past, men were advised to pick up women reactively: don’t shift until you see 3 indicators of interest, show value before touching, etc, etc. Even if the game changes — from indirect to direct, from routine-based to natural — the paradigm remains the same.
Majority of pickup literature advice men a “ready, aim, fire” approach; do the opposite of this: “fire, aim, ready.” Of course, it might not sound as easy as the old way of thinking, nor it is as intuitive, nor does it benefits to cowards who strive for “perfection” so as not to destroy their inflated egos, yet it’s what I’ve personally found to work in reality.
Trust me: I have an inflated ego myself and I HATE social friction, yet I know that social friction is essential when picking up women. The game is played well in damage control, not walking on eggshells, trying to get it “perfect” and make everyone like you. If you want to practice REAL game, go out to a nightclub and do whatever the f!ck you want, and then learn to handle outcomes.
(Disclaimer: if you’re a psychopath, don’t take this advice. “Do whatever the fuck you want” if your intentions fall within the normal behaviour, which I’ll cover in the last section below.)
Aligning yourself with your intentions
Now, you may think I’m encouraging you to grope women and say all kind of offensive stuff. But, I’m not – not at all. I’m just telling you to treat beautiful women as if they’re your longtime partners. When I speak to my girlfriend, I don’t say offensive things or grope her — I respect her and myself.
But I also don’t hesitate to whisper in her ear, put my arms around her, or to tell her how I really feel about things. Now, obviously, we may disagree on things, but c’est la vie, mon frère. I don’t avoid those dreaded moments of friction – in fact, I embrace them as part of the “game” and truly ENJOY them. It gives me a wonderful opportunity to show her my magic – i.e. my “game.”
So, banish all your worries about escalating on women physically by changing your perspective about it. Crush the old way of thinking — picking up women is not about being “perfect” — it’s all about acting according to your honest intentions. If you’re talking to a beautiful woman, your true intention is becoming intimate with her, right? So, don’t be shy about it. Show her exactly how you feel about things by doing or saying what you want. If she doesn’t like it, you’ll learn how to deal with it. In fact, you’ll LOVE handling objections from her. And that, my friends, is how the REAL “game” is played nowadays.
P.S. Learn more game from Rob Judge, click here to learn more about “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down the game into 4 simple tweaks.