You must probably have heard about the “push and pull” tactic, which basically means balancing your attention and interest on a woman you are interested in.
It’s just like, “display some interest, pull back for a while, and then, repeat.“
The trick here is that you demonstrate enough interest to a woman to make her feel that she has already got you, but then, you pull back just enough to let her think she has to work to get you because she also feels she might not quite able to get you, yet. Doing this amplify the attraction in a woman because you’re creating a “desire” in her. And she wants to have that thing that she feels she can’t get.
This idea of the push-and-pull has always been high-sounding to me. I mean, it’s easy to read and understand it, but when it comes to applying in real life, it’s almost impossible to achieve the results mentioned.
Because it is a balancing act, you’ll often find yourself asking…
“Did I do too much? Was that too little? Am I doing enough? Am I not enough?”
So honestly speaking, I threw this concept out of the door in favour of a more “don’t worry about it, just go for it” approach. I simply could not understand the whole idea of Push-Pull concept and I often found the more I tried sticking with it, the horrible my results got.
The Push-Pull concept always seemed like you did this thing over a long period of time, and for me, “time is the enemy of attraction”. I am the kind of guy who always says, “Strike while the iron is still hot.”
I realized that this mindset worked way better for me than trying to force myself to work in some rhythm like a fisherman. It just seemed to much hard work when you could just catch the fish.
But recently, I discovered a surprising thing about the Push-Pull concept. It finally dawned upon me that I had basically misinterpreted the whole concept because I realized that this concept should be really called…
Pull – ESCALATE – Push
The ESCALATE dude was the “missing link” in the formula the whole time. Now I was cooking with gas.
The problem with the Push-Pull tactic was that I constantly found myself getting stuck at the “same attraction level” with a woman. And getting stuck at the same level is really just a countdown to de-escalation. So that is the reason why, after a while, women were starting to get bored with me.
Now I still think that time is on your side here, and the long-game should and can only be so long. However, oftentimes, when trying to seduce a friend or a colleague, the best way to go is this.
Let me break it down for you.
You’re showing her interest. You’re creating rapport, sharing inside jokes.
You’re building “sexual tension.” You’re making physical contact. You’re talking about sex. You’re making wild fantasies with her (joking about wild honeymoon together, getting married, and living happily together).
And immediately, your interest is gone. You’re busy all of a sudden. You’re doing your own thing. You’re very irregular and your responses are short. You’re upsetting her expectations for you and you’re building “mystery.”
Why does doing this all work for you? Just think about a time in the past how mad you got when somebody made you all horny and excited and then you did not have any sex? You went fucking mad, and so she’ll, too.
And that’s the rhythm you’re trying to achieve here. You want to take her to her boiling point, and then, all of a sudden, turn off the burner.
But it’s very crucial to remember that at some point, you have to make your move. You’ve to ask her out for a date. You’ve to continue to escalate the nature of your relationship with her — from friendly to “sexual”.
Now, I bet you’re probably asking yourself, “How often I should repeat doing this?”
While you’ll want to obviously give yourself plenty of time to push her away PROPERLY and build that sense of “mystery” and “chase”, but besides doing that, I say just be fearless about it.
You see, there’s really nothing wrong with messing up with the formula a little bit because it’ll keep her guessing. Being unpredictable will amplify her attraction towards you, as long as you keep in mind to continue escalating that “sexual tension”.
P.S. Here’s another related article on the subject: How to Attract a Woman Really FAST